Tuesday, November 29, 2011

on choosing thankfulness...

Matt and I are in a season right now where we hardly see each other. As in, we get to spend 1 day a week together. He works A LOT of hours. I've gotten used to it mostly, and we have an awesome community that doesn't let me get too lonely, but it still gets really hard sometimes. So far this week he worked 12-10ish yesterday, but I left for my part time job at 6:50 a.m. before he was awake,and today has worked since 9 and will probably work until 10 or 10:30 because Tuesdays always happen like that. We usually get to spend Wednesdays together, but then it's a lot of separation again until the next Wednesday. There are definitely times when I choose to be frustrated and upset about this. But I have been remembering this verse:

"Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances, for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you."

Tonight I prayed and looked around my living room at all the things that I don't even need but have because God has blessed us with this job and with people who love us and give us things. I have a clean, warm house in a safe neighborhood with more bedrooms than I need and clean, running water. I have a comfy couch that I have spent the day lying on because I have a nasty cold. I have more warm blankets than I know what to do with, a bed with no bugs and I get to CHOOSE what temperature my house will be when I go to bed at night and get up in the morning. I get to be choosy about how I decorate my home when most people in the world hardly have a home and couldn't decorate if they wanted to. We have not 1, but 2 cars, one of which was GIVEN to us. I can buy organic groceries while there are people in my city and probably on my street who have to use food stamps to feed their families. I have a landlord who just knocked $100 bucks off our rent as a Christmas gift while I know for a fact that there are lots and lots of people out there who's landlords could care less about their Christmas. I get to wear clothes that I like and feel good in while there are people out there who are just struggling to stay warm and covered. This time last year, I'm pretty sure I overdrew our account when I bought a book of Shel Silverstein poems for my niece for Christmas, the other day I spent $150 on gifts for Matt and our two nieces without having to worry where the money was coming from.

WE ARE BLESSED, and I will choose to rejoice in the fact that God has provided my husband with a job and we can pay the bills and give to others INSTEAD OF choosing to be bitter and mad that he has to work another long day. I will choose to pray in my moments of loneliness and discouragement and repent of my unthankfulness. I will choose to pray for my husband who is bearing the load of the long hours and sometimes seemingly fruitless work way more than I am. I will choose to GIVE THANKS for the fact that we spent most of last year living in peoples spare rooms and basements and now we live in a warm home of our own INSTEAD OF acting like we are in some kind of bad situation. I will choose to have hope and trust that when the time is right, Matt will be provided with another job that will enable us to be together and allow him to pursue things he actually wants to pursue. I will CHOOSE joy & thankfulness, even when it's hard.

Look around you. We are given so much that we don't deserve. What are you thankful for?